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Korean Funeral Condolence Etiquette

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  1. Attire etiquette for offering condolences

    When attending a funeral to offer condolences, basic etiquette calls for wearing a neat black-toned suit, and it's best to avoid flashy accessories, heavy makeup, or short skirts. If you weren't able to prepare black clothing due to a sudden funeral, wearing the most neutral, tidy clothing you can manage still shows proper respect.

  2. How to write a condolence money envelope and customary amounts

    On a condolence money envelope, write "bu-ui" (θ³»ε„€) or "geun-jo" (θ¬ΉεΌ”) vertically, and write your own name on the back or inside. The amount varies depending on your closeness to the deceased and the chief mourner, but it is customary to give an odd-numbered amount (such as 30,000, 50,000, or 100,000 won).

  3. The incense-offering and flower-offering procedure

    Upon arriving at the mourning hall, the general procedure is to exchange a bow with the chief mourner, then take a single incense stick in front of the portrait, light it, gently wave it out by hand, and place it in the incense burner, or offer a single chrysanthemum flower. Afterward, mourners bow twice or observe a moment of silence to honor the deceased.

  4. How to bow (differences between men and women)

    When bowing before the portrait, traditional etiquette calls for men to overlap their hands with the left hand on top and women with the right hand on top, bowing twice. Depending on religion or personal belief, some substitute a moment of silence instead of bowing.

  5. Etiquette for offering words of comfort to the chief mourner

    Proper etiquette calls for offering the chief mourner a short, respectful greeting, such as "My deepest condolences," and it's best to avoid asking in detail about the circumstances of the death or offering excessively long words of comfort. When the chief mourner is overcome with grief, simply holding their hand without words can also offer comfort.

  6. Behaviors to avoid at a funeral hall

    At a funeral hall, avoid laughing loudly or being boisterous, leaving before the chief mourner does, or rushing the food. Also, if a married couple attends together to offer condolences, traditional etiquette calls for bowing one at a time in turn rather than bowing simultaneously.

Why does condolence etiquette at a funeral matter?

A funeral is among the most difficult times for the bereaved family, so properly observing condolence etiquette is a basic show of consideration for the grieving chief mourner and family. Knowing basic etiquette in advance, from attire to words of comfort, lets you pay your respects without feeling flustered.

Also explore wedding etiquette, another major life occasion

Along with funerals, weddings are considered one of Korea's representative major life occasions β€” take a look at our guide to wedding guest etiquette in Korea as well.

Frequently Asked Questions

Should condolence money always be given in cash?

It is customary to give cash, and proper etiquette calls for placing it thoughtfully in an envelope and either handing it directly to the chief mourner's side or leaving it at the reception desk.

If I can't attend in person, is it acceptable to just send condolence money?

Yes. If circumstances make it difficult to attend in person, having an acquaintance deliver condolence money on your behalf or transferring it to a bank account is also considered acceptable and not improper.